I’M BACK! I have been gone for a few months due to, in equal parts, being locked out of my site and being extremely creatively blocked. Well, that has changed in a big way in past few weeks. The sun is out, my site is back up, and the world is still a mess. First, a recap.
In March I lost my job. My company closed and while not unexpected it was still unsettling. We also started quarantine. No better time to sit at home, watch Charmed, play solitaire, and apply, apply, apply. Sadly, most companies stalled hiring. Happily, the company I now work for did not. I started mid April. I am thrilled with my new position, new team, and the strides my morally sound company is taking during these trying times to do the right thing.
The quarantine unease did not really set in for me until I had a job. I think I was so focused and stressed about that imbalance I did not have room for anything else. Once that piece of the puzzle was in place the rigidity of quarantine started to sink in. Barely leaving the house, nervous in crowds larger than 5, and missing my friends dearly. I celebrated my 30th birthday in this haze. The amount my friends and family stepped up to make sure my day was special still makes me cry. It was an outpouring of love I won’t soon forget.
Now, the reason for my post. While I did not have my blog/written word therapy for over a month I do now. The past week, and especially the past few days, have felt heavier to me than job loss and quarantine unease combined. I am heartbroken, nervous, furious, and scared and I am a white woman. I cannot fathom the feelings of black Americans.
In Columbus, there have been protests for two nights. These protests have ended with destruction of property and looting. I feel for the people protesting, I understand the anger and the injustice and the feeling that yet again no one will truly be held accountable. I am sickened by those who take this opportunity for social demonstration and action and turn it into thieving. That creates a narrative that distracts from the message of the masses. I feel for the business owners who have already been hit hard by COVID and now have to deal with smashed windows and loss of product. Is this really the way to create change?! How can we find a way to break the cycle of violence begetting violence and create long lasting change?
It’s 2020, clearly we aren’t as progressive as some would believe we are, it is time for a swift and complete change and while that begins at home it cannot be complete until those in power are actually fighting with us. Take a hard look at your city, state, and country leadership. If they aren’t moving in the direction you want, whether actively or passively, do some research and find a candidate that will. This is not time for a passive stance, this is a time for social change.
It sounds like a dream but it is one I hold onto. In the meantime, have the tough conversations, call people out for outright or veiled racism, teach the young and reprimand/retrain the ones who should know better. Don’t be scared of someone who is different than you. Educate yourself.
I am sorry it has taken so long and so many senseless deaths to make me this enraged. I am horrified, devastated, and mobilized. It is my sincere hope that with every engaged person we get one step closer to actual change.