I am a few short months away from accomplishing a goal I have had for years. I am on track, I am ready, my internal monologue is bitchy.
With great change comes the chance for even greater self sabotage. Switching things up is never going to be as easy as you think and you have the potential to be your biggest foe.
As my dream begins to turn into a reality it is only natural to think “uh oh pump the brakes, things are going so well you don’t need this change, what if you fail?!” For me these thoughts express themselves by me overbooking my schedule so I do not have time for coursework and meal prep or as me second guessing my fully thought out plans. This time, when I felt that inner monster start to stir I decided to take a stand. I established three steps to re-shape my view and get back on track.
The first thing I did was journal. I think it took me starting a blog to realize how therapeutic writing is. Journaling allows me to go deeper inside my mind. Once I read back what I had written and zeroed in on what I was feeling I moved to step two.
Ask for help. Use your resources. Establish a kick ass group of mentors and friends who you can go to when you are feeling out of whack, you have ideas, or you need inspiration. This has not been my strong suit previously. I am definitely not a lone wolf but I am also traditionally reserved with my paralyzing fear of the future. Having a group of people who can remind me I am a woman with a plan and what I am feeling is normal is essential to a happy mind and leads to the final step.
By now I am feeling a little better. I have identified my fears, voiced them, and now it is time to combat them. I did this by revisiting my plan, reminding myself of the reasons I am doing this and the future I hope to create, and then de-stress and decompress with an awesome workout, an at-home spa treatment, and getting back on schedule with classes and work.
This is the first time I have successful avoided letting my fears steer me in the wrong direction. It is liberating. I know this is not the last time I will feel nervous or slightly manic about the future but with these steps I believe I will always be able to regain confidence in myself again.
What makes your inner monologue turn sour? How have you successfully changed that inner voice?